Monday, February 07, 2005
Flitting Fates
surreal
beginnings
to
testing
embarkments.
___
the void
has begun
whilst i walk
these lonely
corners of my
heart
holding onto
thin
threads of
our
golden
memories.
___
this sudden
vacuum and
sharp
emptiness
lurk like
a famished
predator
at the doorstep
of my
weakened
strength.
___
like the isolate
coconut tree
mourns the
death of
the wide, wide
sky.
like the earthworm
seeks
the softness of
an
yielding earth.
like the eventual
end of
expressive
eyes.
like an unforgiving,
beaten
mother.
like a child's fantastic
lands.
like me.
___
i look forward
to our
flitting
fates.
___
unusual is
our life's story.
coincidential are
our quirks.
gripping is the fire
of our love.
natural are these
twisted turnings.
hard is the fall
of our swift rise.
intriguing is this
desert path.
personal is our
flirting future.
brave is the way
we work.
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14 comments:
Very strong emotions in this one M. Twists and turns are what life is made up of. Some longer than the others. If that makes any sense in relation to what you have written above!
;-)
I'm kind of living in the lines of your poetry these days. Why should the sky be so wide in our solitude?
The imagery in the 4th poem is so exquiste that I've fallen in love with it...can totally relate to what you are trying to convey here...
.:A:. - Ah. The advice. :) Yes, it does make sense and I do understand what you say. But they do remain twists and turns and can't cease being annoying. Right?
CAROLVS - I think the same..and also why should everything seem suddenly..sadly stark. If you know what I mean.
Anil - :)) I'd know. Thanks for thinking so..I didn't even realize the imagery part till you mentioned it, actually.
endlessecho - Thank you very much. As I've said in your blog, your style is quite different and one of those kinds that make me look within myself. Which is, perhaps, one of the most effective writing styles. :)
Beautiful ...
Cud kinda relate to it .....
How CAN u write so beautifully ?? I wanted to write sth on my blog just now ... and all I cud do was add lyrics of a song ...
--
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Carry on writing ... :..M..: (This is kinda beautiful manner to write ur name ..) ....
- :..IJ..: (This does not have that much symmetry .. does not look hald as beautiful ...)
:-)
"like the eventual end of expressive eyes." nothing is sadder than looking into the eyes of someone you've been close to before and find there are no traces of recognition in them for you. not even a squint to let you know the other is trying to remember. gone are the conversations you used to carry with that person by just looking from across the room. or knowing without the aid of words.
anyway, i like your poetry. i'll link you ok?
i look forward
to our
flitting
fates.
The pain is palpable and i feeel it.
exquisite words!
I love the way you have structured the fourth segment of the poem-as in reducing from six lines to one.It's also the segment that provides sharp images.In this segment I feel...as if the most concrete images fail to give the sum total of the pain....As if,the pain is so intense that words have to fragment into images from which you can merely glean a "sense" of it's intensity-never a sum total of it.For if it were to be a sum total,then one can try and contain the pain...since it breaks into fragments coz of it's intensity...it cannot be contained,and therefore dealt with very easily...and thus one has to take recourse to sharp images. I've drawn the circle,I guess. What I want to say is that it is a beautiful poem:) Take care:) Ellipses M
Infatuation Junkie - You shower such nice comments, I've noticed! Thanks for noticing the way I write my name :)
enembius - I did read a bit of Ted Hughes a couple of years ago. Some of his poetry, as far as I can remember, is quite well written..has this easy way of expressing. Though, I believe there are many more poets who make words flow right out of them.
bismuth - And what you said is perhaps a more scary description of what I cushioned. Eyes are too powerful. Is an honor to be linked by you :)
Pincushion - So you saw that poem! But can't you feel the hope in it too? Or the feeling of being torn..?
Anon - Yeah, I thought it would take the poem to another level to break it down to descending lines. I'm glad you noticed..:) Thank you for your comment..it was interesting to read it. Perhaps you can leave me a link and I can read your work too?
>>like the eventual
end of
expressive
eyes.<<
This is my favorite poem from you so far. So many evocative images. A sense of perseverance and loss.
It seems almost wrong to mention this, but I noticed you're a Wodehouse fan. I'm always glad to meet a fellow P.G.-lover. (And by the way, what a juxtaposition to your poetry. :)
From simple sentences to the impressive vocab,single statements reveal great depth.Gripping, truly Awesome:)
Heard the phrase "speaks volumes" now find that in ur writing.keep posting!
Ariel - I really enjoy his humor. It's amazing how he can make you laugh or even grin. Writers nowadays don't have that special style anymore. My favorite is Galahad. And ofcourse, Psmith. Just the name make me smirk.
Blackempress - :) Thanks. I like to write brief. I find a lot more can be spoken through aptly used words than being verbose.
Fabulous!!
Like I have said before, your words are dripping wet with emotions. I love this poem, its a treat to read you.
AmitKen - Emotions are what we all ride on. And they are so fleeting..it's better written. Compressed and etched in this fluid time. :) Thanks for calling it a treat.
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