You cast the
Shame of
Silence
All across
The ocean of
Lost chances.
___
There has been
A divide,
An unnecessary
Abyss,
That stares at
You like a
Blame.
___
The shawl of
Time has
Grown intricate
Leaving no
Space for even a
Shoddy
Patchwork of
You.
What About Me
Parents
Bosco
Us
11 comments:
A conscious attempt to play around with adjectives?
'That stares at
You like a
Blame.'
I love reading your posts. You have understated profundity.
Haunting. Is this about a life of lost opportunity?
I note the "ocean of lost chances," "stares at you like blame," and "shawl of time" lines.
The effect is quite striking. I love the image of "blame" staring at you. And the description of "the shawl of time."
But the part that ties it up, "leaving no space for even a shoddy patchwork of you" is so sad.
Can you tell us what prompted this piece?
you paint vivid pics
Wow. Absolutely killer last stanza.
The first verse was just... Wow!
man that person refered as 'you' is facing a lotta troubles even though unknowingly ...
not me though
anywasy come over to my blog this week there are lotsa posts on friendship this week
i love that. ocean of lost chances.
kaashyapeya - Given that its come from a man who often does the same, I'm surprised you identified it wrong. No. Not conscious for I've no time for playing with words. They come or they don't. Finito.
mussolini - :) I'm honored you think that. Although, I've not lived long enough to be as profound as you imagine.
Anonymous Poet - Yes. It's about how people let things pass. We pass on alot of important things such as human feelings and the value of a person's love. The petty things such as ego and circumstances become too large a wall to scale.
Heartache and its breaking prompted these pieces.
Billy - I do.
melon collie - :) Nice way you put it!
Phoenix Rises - I guessed you'd have liked it. Thanks.
paddy - Why does it have to be a man only? Sure I'll come by your blog, although I cannot guarantee when. Very busy.
transience - :)) My dear, I almost knew for sure you'd have loved those lines as I was posting this piece.
Things I thought were
just flashes in an flighty pan
turned
out to be the tip
of an interesting iceberg
cracking and healing
cracking and healing
Wonderful. :-)
Non-Sensei
Non-Sensei - :) Why, I'm happy you liked this!
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