This is short and simple and to the point. However, so much lies just below the surface. The verbs you use, paint and dance, indicate a whimsical sense. However, they are extremely stong because they begin each stanza. Your two subjects, heart of a storm and thick of night, are cryptic and mystical indicating a sense of confusion. Paired together, these items make for a beautifully eliptical poem. In other words...AMAZING!
Kristian - LOL! Maybe it is. To tell you the truth, even after you described it I never really got around to reading up what is it all about. I did know what was a haiku, albeit vaguely. But somewhow, it seemed to be complicated right at the outset, explaining why I discarded my attempt at it!
16 comments:
This is short and simple and to the point. However, so much lies just below the surface. The verbs you use, paint and dance, indicate a whimsical sense. However, they are extremely stong because they begin each stanza. Your two subjects, heart of a storm and thick of night, are cryptic and mystical indicating a sense of confusion. Paired together, these items make for a beautifully eliptical poem. In other words...AMAZING!
dancing a verse is probably what my aching soul needs right now. thanks for reminding me.
How about writing a melody in solitude of the day?...doing that right now.
That is rich, potent, intoxicating. Oh, how you tease us with your brevity.
There is so much flowing beneath the lines. Very well sewn together.
That is my favourite of yours so far!
i envy you for your poems. you write so beautifully, i ache.
Excellent verse. Rich imagery, expressed economically.
haiku?
stan laurel - :) You make me feel like my poem was very good.
transience - My pleasure.
Aditya - That normally happens, anyway. Welcome here :)
Jax - *bows* :)
CAROLVS - *grin* I like to tease. I'm good at it.
.:A:. - I'm sure that you'd have known that!
Kristian - Thank you very much. I saw that you'd linked this piece to your post and I was very touched and happy. You made my day.
bismuth - That is a great, great honor, bismuth.
Randy - Welcome here and thank you for your comment. :)
Poison - Nope. I don't know how to write any.
So lyrical! :)
simplicity with a complex thought
Phoneix Rises - Back again, are you? Thank you.
Billy - Complex thought? It's an amalgamation of thought, heart and experience.
You're quite welcome! As for writing haiku, I believe you just did. :) At least in the liberal Kerouacian tradition, you did. Maybe it's a 'pop'. :)
Great! A deceptively simple, yet infinitely evocative sentiment.
Kristian - LOL! Maybe it is. To tell you the truth, even after you described it I never really got around to reading up what is it all about. I did know what was a haiku, albeit vaguely. But somewhow, it seemed to be complicated right at the outset, explaining why I discarded my attempt at it!
Anonymous Poet - :) Welcome here. I'm glad you've liked this piece.
Post a Comment