I wish I could talk to you.
I want to tell you that I have been awaiting you since years now. I have looked for you in all the wrong corners before I realized that I need to stop my wait and simply..await you. I knew you were being made for me somewhere. I knew our lives would melt into each other's at some point in time.
Before you knock on my door, you need to know how hard it was for me to get to where I am. You need to know what kind of gashes, hurts and wounds I've been carrying all this way. You need to know how long it took me to get to this point. The turmoil, sadness and loneliness I felt was tremendous. I peeked into the lives of people who should've been left alone. I twisted and turned out of relationships I should'nt have committed to. I messed with myself far too dangerously.
I learnt and unlearnt many things along this way. Maybe it was what you and I were supposed to go through. But I wonder if you would love me more now - now that I am battered and disillusioned. Now that I couldn't care less. Now when I don't have any inclination to put time or effort. Now when I have very little faith. Now that I'm a seasoned traveller.
I wonder if you were supposed to come at a time when I needed that faith. Maybe you are the one who keeps the candle lit when it is ready to be extinguished by tiresome time. Maybe, just maybe..
I am sorry, but I cannot care less. I am sorry that I will not give you a second thought if you walk past me today in the grocery store or when you ask me what is the direction to the city center. I am sorry I will not acknowledge that you were the one I travelled so far for.
I do not want to be left colder than hurt in the end. I am tired. It is too late. Just too darned late.
I want to tell you that I have been awaiting you since years now. I have looked for you in all the wrong corners before I realized that I need to stop my wait and simply..await you. I knew you were being made for me somewhere. I knew our lives would melt into each other's at some point in time.
Before you knock on my door, you need to know how hard it was for me to get to where I am. You need to know what kind of gashes, hurts and wounds I've been carrying all this way. You need to know how long it took me to get to this point. The turmoil, sadness and loneliness I felt was tremendous. I peeked into the lives of people who should've been left alone. I twisted and turned out of relationships I should'nt have committed to. I messed with myself far too dangerously.
I learnt and unlearnt many things along this way. Maybe it was what you and I were supposed to go through. But I wonder if you would love me more now - now that I am battered and disillusioned. Now that I couldn't care less. Now when I don't have any inclination to put time or effort. Now when I have very little faith. Now that I'm a seasoned traveller.
I wonder if you were supposed to come at a time when I needed that faith. Maybe you are the one who keeps the candle lit when it is ready to be extinguished by tiresome time. Maybe, just maybe..
I am sorry, but I cannot care less. I am sorry that I will not give you a second thought if you walk past me today in the grocery store or when you ask me what is the direction to the city center. I am sorry I will not acknowledge that you were the one I travelled so far for.
I do not want to be left colder than hurt in the end. I am tired. It is too late. Just too darned late.
