Because Of An Expectation

goodbyes
are trickling out
of my mouth
like the constant breathing
of a fish

---

i can feel uncertainty
creeping up from
behind my curtains
threatening to attack me
any moment
now

---

i'm wrapping up my life
in a
cheap plastic bag
full of photographs
and
'thank you' cards.

---

and if i left all of a
sudden
would you think of me at all?
perhaps the few laughs we had
might echo in your mind
but that's about
all.

---

why
won't you remember me
anymore?

you've forgotten the
memories we made,
the soft touch of
skin against skin,
the love we reconstructed
in our tentative hearts.

you
refuse to remember me
anymore.

---

'get married',
they goad me
and introduce me to the
buffet system of
grooms-to-be.

they tempt me by
displaying the
'good men' in the hope that
one of them can
fix me.

'get married',
they gently embarrass me
like getting maried
will solve all
problems.