Thing about love is, sometimes, you'll find it even when you carefully planned to keep away from it. In the past, I'd found love in adolescence when its madness struck me like a constant thunder. I also kept finding it in the same corner. I once found it still stuck in my veins.
This time, however, I found it for keeps. We entered whatever we did with a 'no commitment' pact. We religiously, almost clinically, avoided any romance beyond friendship. We even gave each other pep talks to keep away from any form of love! We spent countless lunches, dinners, evenings, nights recreating known and unknown passions but steered clear of love. Then we grew to fondly recollect our controlled forms of love: perhaps a gentle stroke on his cheek, his kisses got softer.. we were being sweet to each other. We had trial and error runs with our friends and families. Sometimes we succeeded to charm them, other times we had to work a bit harder. I know in the past year we've attempted to dodge love but somehow it kept knocking on our door. I think only we would know how much we tried to ignore it, escape it and, finally, hide it.
One entire month I began in desperation to embrace my love for him. I was stuck in a triangle and needed him more and more. I realized I can't do without him. I love him. Why? Because I do. He still resisted it. Maybe I became the weaker one and he had to be strong for the both of us. He had to fight the battle of clarity between friendship and a committed relationship. Our original contract was for the former and never for the latter. Luckily, I don't know what happened inside of him but we've quickly changed our views. We have a common goal. We're getting to the emotional side of our relationship. And it feels good.
I'm glad I found love slowly unravelling itself. I'm not having bursts of happiness, I'm not going crazy with passion and I'm definitely not giggly about it. I like how it's gently wafting into my heart. The occasional gush, the broad smile when I see his text, how we've begun to timidly discuss our future. I'm enjoying this beautiful unfurling. It's lovely how we're discovering our dreams, exploring our lives and relishing the newness of it all. Our faith, passion, commitment and tenderness for each other are growing - sometimes suddenly, other times gradually. It's like a slow motion movie where you can drink in moment by moment. I'm not only pleased that love triumphed us but that it also took its own time. It's a kind thing, this love. And well timed!
This time, however, I found it for keeps. We entered whatever we did with a 'no commitment' pact. We religiously, almost clinically, avoided any romance beyond friendship. We even gave each other pep talks to keep away from any form of love! We spent countless lunches, dinners, evenings, nights recreating known and unknown passions but steered clear of love. Then we grew to fondly recollect our controlled forms of love: perhaps a gentle stroke on his cheek, his kisses got softer.. we were being sweet to each other. We had trial and error runs with our friends and families. Sometimes we succeeded to charm them, other times we had to work a bit harder. I know in the past year we've attempted to dodge love but somehow it kept knocking on our door. I think only we would know how much we tried to ignore it, escape it and, finally, hide it.
One entire month I began in desperation to embrace my love for him. I was stuck in a triangle and needed him more and more. I realized I can't do without him. I love him. Why? Because I do. He still resisted it. Maybe I became the weaker one and he had to be strong for the both of us. He had to fight the battle of clarity between friendship and a committed relationship. Our original contract was for the former and never for the latter. Luckily, I don't know what happened inside of him but we've quickly changed our views. We have a common goal. We're getting to the emotional side of our relationship. And it feels good.
I'm glad I found love slowly unravelling itself. I'm not having bursts of happiness, I'm not going crazy with passion and I'm definitely not giggly about it. I like how it's gently wafting into my heart. The occasional gush, the broad smile when I see his text, how we've begun to timidly discuss our future. I'm enjoying this beautiful unfurling. It's lovely how we're discovering our dreams, exploring our lives and relishing the newness of it all. Our faith, passion, commitment and tenderness for each other are growing - sometimes suddenly, other times gradually. It's like a slow motion movie where you can drink in moment by moment. I'm not only pleased that love triumphed us but that it also took its own time. It's a kind thing, this love. And well timed!
