My Job

The blood in my veins
curdles at the thought of
this room full of people bargaining with
an inevitability
and i feel guilty for my pretty dress
and promising future.

---

if there was definite hope
lurking in some forsaken corner of this
cursed place, i promise you
i will grab it and wrap it up in a
bag to be hand delivered to
you.

---

when october comes i
cast my mind back to the times
i told you fantastic stories of kings
and queens just so you finish breakfast,
the day you had the LJ and i rocked you to sleep
afterwards, the afternoon of playing games and drawing
pictures of your family, the last day when
i gave you a big hug and cried while
promising you i'd keep in touch.
but i didn't.