waste land

my dreams supplicate before you. and as i trace my eyes along your nose..cheeks...eyes, i am filled with a nervousness. you whisper sweet nothings in my ear, you call me things you would've called many women you wooed. i wonder if you lost me somewhere between those common words. i nervously think back to times when those words overlapped with your temporary interests.

i wish you could weave your way back to me..i'm the one who is forgotten among the multitude of words you use for relationships. like i am not worthy for being different from that.

i extend my dreams to experience a shared journey of grandness, of wonderment. as if to say you...only you are my wonder, my grand success, my dream. i didn't know my love was an inconvenience.

i wish i were your worthy conquest. i wish you would cast aside all callings for me. i wish you could accommodate other dreams for me...not accommodate me for your other dreams. i wish you thought i was worth that effort. i wish you thought your love was worth that effort.

my life is slowly emptying..and i watch all my effort drain out. i waited in corridors, i damaged lives, i ruthlessly trampled over my parents, i altered my existing life, i cried into pots of memories, i listlessly walked the narrow hallways of your occassional needs, i corrected myself for you...i've bent over backwards for you. i now look back and wonder if you were just in the mood for me then (what with all the drama peeking your interest), and not anymore.

you broke my heart into a million shards that you now use to cut into my weak frame. and then you expect me to support you.