Words have a funny way of constructing reliable truths that a gullible mind will swallow hungrily. My mind overflows with a constant one-sided dialogue. Occasionally, even my dreams stop being a neatly assembled role of images, but emerge as an incessant narrative. I wake up with the unending string of the one-side conversation continuing, as if consciousness poses no threat or even message for it to shut up.
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If I could sum up my life thus far, I'd say that I'm always wrong and always right all at once. I was wrong to go out with him and break him, but I was right in pursuing what my heart said and then negated in the subsequent couple of months. I was wrong in hurting my parents, but I was right in marrying him. I was right in loving him with a passion, I was wrong in letting it threaten us now. I am right in thinking what I think, but I'm wrong in letting my thoughts translate into action. But what I learnt is that the corollary to this is also equally true.
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We woke up yesterday and noticed that my feet look older. Yes, my feet. We spent seven minutes discussing my feet - the tiny white cracks in my heel, the mosquito bite that's leaving a scar behind, my chipping nail paint (I never leave it to that), the strange tan lines of flip flops followed by sandals. For me, growing up has begun from bottom up, huh.
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I am silenced by the gaping divide between us. We really are on different ends of our crisis. I wish we didn't starve for love so much that we seek these band-aid fixes. I wish your big eyes and my baby-face didn't paint such a sorrowful picture. I am shocked into a stunned stupor at the disparity of our exact opposing means to a very common end. So big is this gap between us that we are willing to kill ourselves on the way to our shared happiness.
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If I could sum up my life thus far, I'd say that I'm always wrong and always right all at once. I was wrong to go out with him and break him, but I was right in pursuing what my heart said and then negated in the subsequent couple of months. I was wrong in hurting my parents, but I was right in marrying him. I was right in loving him with a passion, I was wrong in letting it threaten us now. I am right in thinking what I think, but I'm wrong in letting my thoughts translate into action. But what I learnt is that the corollary to this is also equally true.
---
We woke up yesterday and noticed that my feet look older. Yes, my feet. We spent seven minutes discussing my feet - the tiny white cracks in my heel, the mosquito bite that's leaving a scar behind, my chipping nail paint (I never leave it to that), the strange tan lines of flip flops followed by sandals. For me, growing up has begun from bottom up, huh.
---
I am silenced by the gaping divide between us. We really are on different ends of our crisis. I wish we didn't starve for love so much that we seek these band-aid fixes. I wish your big eyes and my baby-face didn't paint such a sorrowful picture. I am shocked into a stunned stupor at the disparity of our exact opposing means to a very common end. So big is this gap between us that we are willing to kill ourselves on the way to our shared happiness.
1 comment:
Use the Outlook 2010 Business Contact Manager to manage contacts, correspondence, and keep my calendar in as well. It syncs with iPhone and is fairly robust in capability. Outlook not in stock and was offered download Outlook 2010 with Contact Manager.
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